


No Love

by wongweed



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Bottom Suh Youngho | Johnny, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:54:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27062254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wongweed/pseuds/wongweed
Summary: Johnny considered himself the big brother of the camps. He took it upon himself to create an environment of ease. Anyone below his year is considered his little brother or sister. He has denied numerous advances of many yet when he was in his final year, working on his thesis, a certain junior wavers his heart.As usual, Johnny denied the advance made because it was righteous, yet when he saw his junior grinding against someone during the graduation party he was supposed to monitor, he toppled hard.
Relationships: Suh Youngho | Johnny/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 87
Collections: A/B/O NCT Round 1





	No Love

**Author's Note:**

> prompt #ABO035. wheezes. I hope I did good. happy reading!

Through his whole twenty-eight years of living, Johnny Suh never imagined he would get his romantic awakening at the club for the boy —scratch that, man— he forced himself to see as nothing but platonic. He also never imagined the vile green monster would wrap its treacherous hands around him to the point where he is disgusted at himself.

It was a Saturday night at the club their group showed up. Everyone was present except a few because they had work. Johnny felt a sense of Deja Vu, shrugged off that uneasiness with alcohol and snacks they ordered and within next hour Johnny was wilding in the middle of the dance floor, rutting against a pretty beta female, ignoring the catcalls of his friends and juniors. Johnny had a reputation after all.

It was a fun night or so it seemed, made him forget the tiny hallow in his chest, the tiny disappointment probing at his subconscious. Nothing should spoil the fun.

Johnny thought so.

He was giving an impromptu pep talk to his juniors on how to respectfully get hooked in clubs like these as proper adults, and not some college fuckboy crude suavity that’d land them in trouble in future —you never know who might turn up the next day as your colleague, or worse, boss.

“I see you are still doing your big brother gig, eh!” An arm draped across his shoulder, unbearable warmth pressed to his side, and hot breath fanning his left profile.

None except one person gets this clingy with him.

Johnny's shoulders slumped. He finished his pep talk, followed by a soft amused sigh. After bidding the juniors good luck to the floor, he turned to his side, brow quirked. “Are you late on purpose?”

“Did you miss me?”

“No, I mean, yeah.. but.. Lucas, anyways, let’s get you some drink.” Johnny wriggled himself free of Lucas' clutch despite his irrational need to stay close.

Lucas' face fell for an instant —Johnny regretted his action but there was no crying over spilt milk. Lucas pulled his hands behind, tipping his chin, he gave Johnny a proud and cheeky smile. He snorted, gestured at the bar, and said, “Okay. I want the strongest, Johnny. I want to get wasted.”

Johnny broke into a fit of titters. The one where he felt his insides crumbling, his heart palpitating, and eyes wet. God, he adored the other. Johnny curled his fingertips around Lucas’ wrist and dragged the other to the bar. “You are lightweight, kid. What do you mean the strongest huh?”

“You know what I mean. Don’t worry.” Lucas supplied with nonchalance.

It was kind of glum if Johnny were to be honest, but he didn’t want to spoil the mood.

_He wasn’t ready to talk about what happened between them._

Maybe Johnny should have talked instead of walking on eggshells like he had been doing for the past few months —it wasn’t his fault that things turned out awkward. Yet, Johnny regretted his action for the second time in a row that night.

Lucas’ had too much alcohol buzzing in his system. He was louder, hyper, crazier, and bolder than usual. By the fifth shot, he was screaming garbage syllables, fist-pumping the air, head bobbing to the music echoing in the club.

“Hyung, I’m going to fuck.” Lucas yelled at Johnny’s face after his sixth shot and jumped to the floor, and disappeared into the sea of bodies grinding against anyone within proximity.

Johnny, appalled, nursed his whiskey, trying to comprehend what in the world just happened and should he intervene?

_Why should he intervene? Lucas is a healthy young adult. He could do as he pleases. Johnny, what’s your idea? Shouldn’t you be helping him to get laid? Isn’t that your purpose of being here?_

Karma is a bitch. Subconsciousness, the bitchiest. If that was possible. (He was calling himself a bitch.)

Johnny ordered himself a margarita. An hour had passed by since Lucas went off to suck face with strangers (no, he did not feel annoyance. Why would he?) and probably was sucking a dick or pussy (again, why there was a headache? Probably stress? Yes.) in a booth or bathroom.

Unless the latter was drugged? Kidnapped? Johnny was aware of his dramatic counterpart, but given Lucas usual naive, friendly tendencies, it wasn’t a reach.

 _damn_!

Giving himself a plausible excuse, Johnny marched into the crowd to find Lucas. And everything happened next was an action thriller riding on serotonin (and lots of hormones).

He found Lucas on the other side of the club surrounded in a small group of people of varying genders —easy to guess it was going to be kind of an orgy, and the mental images conjured within the back of his mind canvas equally horrified and amused Johnny, and he had no clue how to act. So, he observed.

 _A miscalculation in judgement_.

Johnny observed the way Lucas’ hands were so fucking huge (he was aware of the reality but refused to acknowledge for so long and now they are coming at him full throttle to make a mess out of him) grappling at pair of plump bottoms, covering so much and squeezing the flesh about enough to leave fine Impressions underneath the leather booty shorts. He observed the way Lucas’ feral cries overpowered the booming music, made the person perched on his lap shiver visibly —he would be a liar if he denied Lucas’ animalistic growls were nothing if not exhilarating, sinking deep into every pore of his bones, shaking him breathless. He would be the biggest liar if he denied the bottomless black caught in ringlets of red were not alluring, drawing him in as if Johnny were a senseless prey ready to be devoured.

_He so much wanted to be eaten out. fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck._

It wasn’t fair that Lucas looked _so fucking pretty_ that night. Though there was no heavy make up except coral lips, bejewelled ears, glitters on hair, and pearlescent dabbed cheeks now literally glinting like stardust. Johnny bit the inside of the cheek and clamped his thighs close.

It wasn’t supposed to be the night where Johnny Suh was forced to acknowledge the unyielding lust for Wong Yukhei.

* * *

Never in million years —maybe that was exaggerating of him, but the situation at hand called for dramatic measures— Johnny Suh thought he would be suffering through what people call unresolved sexual tension. The aspect of such was new to Johnny: head in the clouds, unbidden daydreams, and the alluring tempting eyes of his dear, sweet, baby bro —no, surely not a brother figure in any way since that night.

The word brother was on the tip of his tongue habitually, but he wanted to refrain from using such term out of respect and conscience because no one would be getting a semi-erection popping up like bubble tea boba —the bane of his existence so much loves to consume in broad daylight— and then proceed to think the cause as anything brotherly.

There was nothing brotherly about wanting to fuck your junior from the university. Even less brotherly, when he wanted the said junior to shove him against the wall in the middle of the club and claim him like some animal that needed to be taught its place that night.

Johnny shuddered, the warmth pricking at his skin too painful all of a sudden.

“Johnny,” There was a gentle hand on his back, a calming but assertive presence of an Alpha. It was Lee Taeyong, Johnny’s best friend and boss as well as the head of their pack, with a thin smile.

He faced the other with a sheepish grin, a chuckle escaped him, “Yes, Taeyong?”

Taeyong sighed, his smaller frame that encompassed unparalleled strength and ferocity now appearing helpless which was still a mystery to Johnny, but then again Johnny’s own larger build was nothing but a faux pass. Taeyong’s hand travelled up to grapple at Johnny’s shoulder as if to assure. “I think it’s time you realize feelings can change. I mean, it’s kind of shallow that you are thirsting after your little bro— no I mean, junior just because he was hot in ripped jeans. Hey don’t give me that look, I’m content with Doyoung. He’s my mate you know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s happening. Anyways, it’s okay to realize your own needs and act upon them.”

“Taeyong, I—” Johnny gapped like a fish out of water, his presence of mind leaving him. “I....”

Taeyong gave that look. He squeezed Johnny’s shoulder, his smile a little stretched out, wrinkles underneath his eyes.

Johnny wondered if that was a threat or concern because — _damn_ — his shoulder hurt.

“Johnny, though your beta pheromones don’t affect the lot extremely, it is still unpleasant to hear your damsel in distress whines —yes, you are unconsciously lamenting about your aching dick. So spare us, and get fucked.” Taeyong ended with a smile, patting Johnny’s shoulder lightly before he left.

It was a moment later that Johnny realized how fucked he was. Though he was not an alpha, the nature had blessed Johnny with a keen sense of smell that was better than the usual betas —yes, the special Betas exist, though few, and they were usually sought after in the medical field for they can sense the distress but weren’t affected by pheromones like alphas and omegas— yet he failed to sense Taeyong walking up to him.

“Fuck!” Johnny bit the inside of his cheek, his sharp canines digging into the wet velvet. Iron and salt, quite an unpleasant flavour, ruined his taste buds.

He looked below. The white strip lines were the only discernible objects on the pitch black asphalt while the rest of the population crowding the street were tuned out to white noises. By no means he possessed the heightened sight of an alpha but it was concerning. Usually, he was able to concentrate by gazing at the street from his place on top of the skyscraper, but today he couldn’t.

Restlessness was unbecoming of him. He knew what was needed to be done, but lacked the courage the act upon it.

Flashes of Lucas’ numerous confessions, choked laughs, and broken eyes flooded his mind. Johnny could drown in the guilt. No, he was already suffocating underwater.

Yet the biggest concern lied in —Whether Lucas would accept him?

* * *

Wong Yukhei aka Wong Lucas. Johnny met Lucas at the beginning of his final year while Luca was a freshman. Usually, a senior so close to graduation wouldn’t get acquainted with a freshman due to final year papers, internships, and whole other things. At best, these two categories would be labelled as someone you know in university because of the welcoming party. Yet Lucas had managed to burrow his way into Johnny's last year in university.

Their worlds entangled at the welcome party Johnny’s chemistry department decided to co-host with the business'. These two departments usually go hand in hand —the campus had labelled the two departments as the newlywed because the students of these departments tended to date each other. As bizarre as it sounds, it was true. Besides, Johnny was the department representative and he was friends with Lee Taeyong from the business.

Lee Taeyong was the alpha Johnny had sworn loyalty to, and they also were planning to start up their own business within two years of graduation. Connections were important, hence, and what’s better than having promising candidates meet up at a party?

All in all, it was beneficial to spend his time hosting a party rather than studying. Undoubtedly, he would graduate with flying colours. He had everything planned from internships to savings.

Except, the first year Wong Yukhei catching his attention? Not at all.

The younger male swooped in like a wrecking tornado, dragging Johnny to the whirlwind of curiosity and impulsiveness. Johnny still remembered their first encounter vividly.

They were at the restaurant they agreed to host the party which was close to the campus. The food was great and they were acquainted with the staff as well. The party was picking up a mood when an underdressed freshman showed up to sit at the table Johnny was asked to oversee.

“Hello! I’m Wong Yukhei. You can also call me Lucas. A pleasure to make acquaintances with you.” The freshman, Lucas, introduced himself with a polite bow of the head after he was offered a space at the end of the table opposite to Johnny’s.

Despite the humblest appearance fashion-wise, Lucas’ presence was regal. There was no scent on the later, yet Johnny had an inkling of Lucas being an alpha. Because it was impossible to ignore the other. Unlike Johnny who had a bigger built himself but still can hide his presence, Lucas commanded attention without trying. It felt like The Heavenly Creature had descended. It was amusing.

Johnny never gave his attention to any alpha.

Like the rest, Johnny’s attention inadvertently fixated on the newcomer. Unconsciously he began to study the other, unaware of his rude manners. Not that anyone dared to correct him.

Lucas’ pitch-black hair was strikingly noticeable —and looked ridiculously soft. It was like he was high and above them all despite the generic features. Were one’s eyes supposed to be this adorable? Lucas also had a pretty smile. Such freshness? Innocence?

Truly, befitting of a canine.

Johnny got snapped out of his musings when he heard Lucas explaining his cause of delay to his friend: a senior from art department held him back for a confession. Lucas seemed troubled, and Johnny picked up the slight distress from the other.

While Johnny didn’t mean to eavesdrop —in his defence, Lucas was a megaphone and Johnny was the victim here since he was privy to unpleasant information he didn’t ask for. Johnny helplessly wondered if Lucas had such minor inconveniences often because of his handsome features, or Alpha pheromones on the work. It was comprehensible of weaker genders unconsciously submitting to the stronger one.

Perhaps, it was then Johnny decided to offer some kind of a remedy to the freshman. After all, Johnny has personally been through that phase. They call him the heart-breaker though he never meant to.

“Johnny Suh. Final year, chemistry department.” Johnny started when it was his turn to introduce himself to the newcomer.

Johnny had a polite but reserved air to him while sipping his drink. He felt the intense eyes on him out of curiosity, but there was one too uncomfortable coming from across. Johnny thought it might be the territorial habit of an alpha. One can not abandon their instinct.

“A beta, by the way so you don’t have to worry about you know—” Johnny laughed sheepishly, his eyes crescent, and gums visible.

What came next swept Johnny off his feet —flying? Nope. It was like a giant swing propelled toward him from behind and he was thrown a foot ahead with his face shoved in the ground: hopefully a grassy one.

“No, I didn’t mean to scare you or fight you, Johnny hyung.” Lucas broke into a foolish smile. “You are really pretty. I got lost.”

Bold, naively, to be honest, for an alpha. Johnny must take this tactless alpha under his wing and teach him the bees and birds of respect and whole other businesses of romance.

Though, it wouldn’t be a lie to say Johnny’s eyes refused to leave Lucas’. Regardless of the naivety, Lucas was one hell of an innocent charmer and Johnny's mindsight refused to take its eyes off Lucas.

“Did I offend you? I’m sorry. I...” Lucas frantically looked everywhere, then to his friend next to him.

It was adorable. Adorable for an alpha trying to salvage a situation.

At first glance, Lucas appeared any typical Alpha out there, but damn, if he wasn’t a lost chick parading around and waiting for help.

“It’s alright. I’m not mad, but surprised? Yes. It’s rare. You are probably the fifth person to call me pretty, Lucas. It’s kind of nice, I guess.” Johnny supplied with a small smile to his features, his eyes partially covered by the bangs falling to his eyes.

“Really?” Lucas’ went slump in his chair, the head was thrown back, and his giant palms covered his face. “Thank God!”

“Hahaha..... I’m a chill person, Lucas. Why don’t you allow me to treat you to something nice? We good, okay!” Johnny gestured for the waiter to come over.

He ignored the catcalls of his friends and freshmen gathered on the table as well as the unexpected flush painting Lucas’ visage like the dusk in a summer sky.

* * *

“Johnny... Hyung...Johnny hyung—” It was Mark's concerned yet impatient voice that called for his attention. Mark was Johnny’s cousin from his mother’s side as well as Lucas’ best friend. The world was truly small in a sense.

Johnny was startled as he was dragged out of his reverie. He hit the table with his knees, swallowed a muffled groan, and pretended to be present. As if he wasn’t thinking about something licentious.

Oh, God, the fathers’ forgive me!

Sweat brandished Johnny’s temple, a peal of nervous laughter escaping him. “Wh-What is it?”

Johnny reached for the dessert in the middle of the table. He pretended as if the eyes of their family were not focused on him, picking him apart like some lab rat. Especially, Mark who was privy to a lot of things. It appeared Mark had divulged some part of the information.

Johnny always had looked forward to their family dinner every month, but this one was the worst so far. Worst than the one where he had to introduce his first-ever boyfriend to them.

“Baby,” It was his mother who spoke first. She seemed to realize something. It was a no brainer matter, to begin with. “Sometimes, it’s okay to apologize and move forward.”

_Oh, well, that was cryptic enough._

Should I need to apologize for finally realising why I was single since I met him but was a jerk to refuse his advance each time because I was a jerk?

_Should I apologize for being a coward?_

_Should I apologize for breaking his heart so many times?_

_Should I apologize for wanting to —_

Johnny put a break to his thoughts. They would one day get him dead for sure.

“I,” Johnny began, squirming under the gaze of his family.

It was a good thing, he didn’t invite Lucas this time. Sometimes, Lucas joins their family dinner on behalf of both Johnny and Mark’s request. Johnny wouldn’t be surprised if their family had caught onto something.

“Well, it’s never late to apologize. Your Aunt Lee also was a late bloomer. Wonder what would have happened if she never gathered confidence.” His other aunt Lee nodded, a soft sigh leaving her.

Well, first, he wouldn’t have an adorable cousin like Mark. That was a painful timeline, he admitted.

“Fine.” Johnny sighed, wished the ground to crack and swallow him whole till tomorrow.

“I’m proud of you, son.” Johnny’s father nodded with a small but fulfilling smile.

The rest agreed with his father and soon it was a cahoots of cheers and tears.

“Hyung, trust me, it’ll be alright. Okay. Don’t give up.” Mark gently whispered amidst the merrymaking, squeezed Johnny’s palm.

It was more than enough to set Johnny off his new path.

* * *

It was easier to be said than done.

The ever so confident Johnny Suh was shivering in anticipation. The goosebumps all over his skin made him itch underneath his suit shirt. He had invited Lucas for dinner at one of their favourite restaurant. He even went as far as to reserve a both for them on the uppermost floor —needless to say, it was one of those skyscraper restaurants where the night view alone is worth indulging.

Seoul looked like a beautiful bride procession during the night. The glimmering towers, towering street lights, the busy streets, and restless vehicles. Despite the modernization eating away the earth, it was still a beautiful sight. The building was also close to the Han river. The colourful lights of the bridge reflecting on the bottomless waterbed was somewhat calming.

Johnny wondered if his intentions were that obvious. He wondered if Lucas stood him up. He wondered how he would react if Lucas rejected him.

After all, Johnny heartlessly and foolishly had denied Lucas’ confession a few months ago but wished his desire to continue their friendship.

Johnny expected Lucas to lash at him. How dare a mere beta refuse an Alpha. How dare a beta demand such atrocious thing from an alpha. But, Lucas was kind to fulfil Johnny’s selfish request.

Looking back now, Johnny wanted to jump off the building and never see Lucas again.

 _Karma truly came to bite him in the ass. And dick too_.

Before he could act on his impulses, the door to the private both swung open with unmatchable enthusiasm. Johnny was forced to ponder the pain he must have put the younger alpha through.

He should jump off the fucking building.

“Hyung, did you wait long?” Lucas panicked voice bounced off the walls, reverberated beneath Johnny’s skin, shook his bones, and send Johnny’s heart toppling down the floor.

Johnny was seeing Lucas in anew light. Everything felt different. It was as if he was meeting the younger for the first time. Raw, unnerving anticipation dancing in his belly.

Johnny was drowning.

“N-N-No.” Johnny supplied, heat crawling all over him. He hadn’t been alone with Lucas since that night in the club which was funny since the two of them were used to sneaking out only together and try out the various snacks at the night market.

Johnny was kind of Lucas’ sugar daddy.

_Shit!_

“Great! I’m sorry I am later. The meeting was unexpectedly long.” Lucas closed the door behind him and took the seat next to Johnny.

_I need time, hyung. To go back to how things were. Can you wait for that?_

_Am I late?_

“Uhh... I’m sorry for unexpectedly asking you out for dinner. It’s not your fault. Hahaha!” Johnny replied, refusing to meet Lucas’ eyes. He wondered whether his voice quivered, his lips too red from his constant nibbling, his eyes glassy as if he was about to cry. That would be humiliating enough to make him leave the country and disappear into the wilderness.

Lucas could see through him like the rocks visible at the bottom clear spring. Cliché but Johnny knew the other was not bluffing.

“No. That’s fine. I’m happy you haven’t forgotten about me.” Lucas chirped in, flipping through the menu.

Ouch!

Lucas was kind. Not a fool.

“Should we order? They’ve your favourite.” Johnny decided, he shouldn’t be selfish. He shouldn’t ruin the good atmosphere just because he wanted to fuck his good junior.

Maybe it was better if he buried his unnecessary hormones in the depths of muddy water. No one would be able to tell the difference.

* * *

After the welcome party, Johnny hadn’t seen Lucas for a week. He didn’t want to notice it, but his mind somewhat always managed to think about the younger alpha.

Is he getting unbidden confessions? Did he make someone cry inadvertently? Should I help the boy? I should try to help. Why? Because Lucas might be a great human asset to them in near future.

Not that Johnny could physically find himself seeking out Lucas when his schedule was packed to the point it might be health hazardous. Though he worried less about the younger alpha earning himself s bad reputation, it was still there. He had a feeling, a gut one to be exact, he would regret his delayed act.

It was the third week since the party when Johnny got a wind of Campus gossip. It was Mark's name flashing on his phone’s screen that was on the desk during the middle of the day when he was still in class; a useless to one since the professor slacked and lacked.

“Hyung, hyung, please, come over to the cafeteria. Some people are targeting xux— I mean Lucas. Please, hurry!” Mark was so stressed, it bled through the receiver. Mark was a gentle soul despite being an alpha. A true pacifist, you can say.

“Hold on for five. I’m leaving right now.” Johnny was already on his heels with his phone clutched in his palm and his belongings abandoned in the class.

There were only a few occasions when Johnny ever got serious, especially during fights. He never used his full strength when striking a person down, but when he arrived at the cafeteria, heaving and his muscles burning, to a crowd surrounding the scene, Johnny forced his way in, and he saw red when he saw blood on Lucas’ lips and a shaky Mark hidden behind Lucas’ frame.

“You shouldn’t have done that, buddy.” Despite being a beta, Johnny’s presence was menacing. A threat was a threat regardless of its origin. Johnny was also known for his merciless strength and no alpha commands charged with pheromones compelled him inferior.

Johnny was a sight to be admired when he roughened a group of two alphas and three betas with the help of Lucas. He took care most of them with few punches; a pro boxer, he was. Johnny had numerous hobbies, an unrelenting hunger to achieve more and more within his limits, that is.

The crowd dispersed once Johnny solved the situation and dragged the younger alpha to the infirmary while Mark stayed behind to grab something for Lucas to eat in consideration of busted lips and probably bleeding cheek too.

Johnny felt a tiny bit of extra guilt. He should have warned the younger alpha. Shit!

“Mark didn’t tell me but why were you attacked?” Johnny had dropped formality and reservation the moment he faced Lucas while working to prepare the first aid treatment to clean the wound on Lucas's lips.

Lucas was perched on the bed with his legs crossed, painted the picture of a petulant child feeling offended. Kind of made Johnny’s protectiveness rise a degree or hundred maybe.

“I did nothing. I declined to be friends with a bunch of assholes. They said I’m a snob and then I said they’re jerks and you know,” Lucas sighed, slouched and looked elsewhere.

“What else?” Johnny narrowed his eyes while dabbing the antiseptic soaked cotton sheet at Lucas’ lips. He was gentle, wiping off the blood, unconsciously flinching when the cut gradually revealed itself.

Alpha fights were nasty.

“What you mean what else?” Lucas seemed used to pain; unflinching, and nonchalant.

“You know, Lucas. Spill, boy!” Johnny meant business.

“Fine. I rejected the dude's friend so they got mad. I don’t get where this kind of superior complexity comes from.” Lucas hissed, accidentally bit his cheek, and whined afterwards. “I hate snobs.”

Johnny laughed, applying ointment on the cut. “I can see that. That’s life, Lucas. Most of the power lies in idiots. Ha!”

“For real.” Lucas sighed. He acted like an old man done with the disappointing youth.

It was kind of cute.

“Okay, you’ll be my junior. Now we’ll see if anyone dares to harm you.” Johnny declared with a helpless but gently laugh, ruffling Lucas’ hair. “Do you want to rest and wait for Mark here or go back to dorm?”

“Nah! Mark’s gonna attend his classes and I don’t wanna be alone—” Lucas replied, lips upturned.

“Okay, my place then. Come on, pup. I texted Mark so he’ll meet us at the department building before we leave. You need to eat before any painkiller gets inside your system.” Johnny usually should not have offered, but he did.

“Thanks, hyung!” Lucas was suddenly energetic, springing to his feet.

What threw Johnny off was Lucas’ arm looped around Johnny’s —adorable nonetheless.

* * *

“You chickened out?” Kun's voice rang in his ear through the receiver.

Kun was sort of Lucas’ guardian figure. Well, he was the guardian figure of their batch and had taken numerous kids under his wings just because was a nice brother. He was the owner of the new Chinese Restaurant running in Gangnam —the man had worked his butt off in a corporation to save money and garnered possible investors: self-made. Kun also offered a lucrative job position to Lucas for reasons Johnny’s unprivileged to.

“Yeah.. but I think, he is over me, Kun.” Johnny heaved a sigh, lying flat on his back on the soft mattress of his queen-sized bed. The room was dark except for the flicker of light slipping through the thick blinds of his window. His apartment was on the tenth floor, yet unbidden illumination somehow snuck its way to his bedroom. Usually, he wouldn’t mind. But tonight, it irritated him.

The light was a stark contrast on the white sheet in the darkroom. A glaring reminder of what he could have, more likely who, occupying that empty space.

He could have the warmth of Lucas on his bed, next to him; could have indulged in the sun-kissed rich cocoa scent beneath his lips, on his tongue, down his throat, and everywhere cocooning him. He could have had the other warming him up in ways no one ever had.

Never had Johnny Suh wanted an alpha's knot choking him.

Johnny felt hazy, a snarl escaped him. The inside of his mouth was warm and soft and unpleasant altogether.

“Johnny, are you okay?” Kun's voice rose an octave higher.

Johnny laughed: a dry one. It sounded painful to his ears even. “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’ll meet you in three hours?”

“Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“No. I’m leaving for a business trip in the afternoon so, I’m free.”

“Alright. Take care, Johnny.”

* * *

Johnny hated himself the most when he jerked himself off with a vibrator shoved deep in his ass, Lucas’ name falling off his lips within the confine of his bathroom walls, the onslaught of hot water blurring away his vision and his wisdom. It was easy to imagine the heat belonged to the alpha named Wong Yukhei.

At times like these Johnny was glad he was a beta. His ruts were easy and require only an hour or two. Imagine having a cock large enough and swollen for hours and you have meetings to attend. _Couldn’t be him!_

He briefly wondered about Lucas’ and had to slap himself to sense and off to meet Kun after dabbing himself in scent blockers. The blockers works as an alternative to hide any mild pheromone a beta exudes, and completely erase the scent of arousal of a beta. Clean and fresh.

He usually met Kun at the bar managed by Jung Jaehyun —The Red Rose. They met Jaehyun at the beginning of their third semester and the boy had been with them since. Johnny was certain it was because of Doyoung but turned out, it was because of Jungwoo; the younger cousin of Doyoung. Talk about how small the world was.

“Hey, Johnny. Heard you’re going through a problem.” Jungwoo sat opposite to Johnny. “Kun said he is coming after dropping the cry baby off home.”

Johnny wanted to ask which cry baby because they had lots of cry babies in their circle —dare he point out, Lucas included. But he refrained, curving a brow upward.

The way Jungwoo looked at him made Johnny uncomfortable. It was the gaze of an accuser. Well, Jungwoo was Yukhei’s sworn brother. Another story for another time. Put it simply, Lucas was as important as Jaehyun to Jungwoo. The couple made it believable that they had something going on with Lucas at one point during their early friendship.

“I’m sorry?” Johnny helplessly looked over the counter for Jaehyun’s help. Jaehyun was like his little brother. He had high hopes in the other alpha.

Betrayal was your wingman leaving you for food.

“Why love makes people even dumber?” Jungwoo whined, pouring the liquor into two flutes. He slid one toward Johnny and took a sip from his own. “Jaehyun, hang up the closed sign. I’ll inform Kun.”

Did he mention, Kun and Jungwoo were horsemen of the cooking club. Their friendship was another thing.

“Alright.” Jaehyun made an announcement of closing up the bar and that people should finish their drinks and empty the premise unless they were comfortable knowing miserable love life of a man in his late twenties.

By the time Kun arrived, the bar was empty.

Johnny poured his heart out. Bawled his eyes out. Got drunk. Well as much as he could.

* * *

The next week saw a different Johnny Suh.

“Taeyong, I need a break.” Johnny had marched into the office building in his casual clothes. Maybe not too casual, but ensured that they were worn for a specific occasion.

“Are you finally acting upon your needs, Youngho?” Taeyong quirked a brow, his lips thinned out, but it was impossible to miss the knowing smile veiled behind his sharp eyes.

“Yes. God, wish me good luck. I’m getting dicked tonight. Not really. But I’m getting somewhere.” Johnny, perhaps, was thrilled beyond comprehension to forget he had left the door to Taeyong’s office wide open and now everyone on the marketing floor was privy to his adventure for alpha cock.

_Talk about embarrassment._

“Oh, cool. Finally, Doyoung won’t worry about Xuxi after we have sex. How unpleasant is that, as much as I love Lucas, do you know?” Taeyong didn’t flinch, signing off documents after documents.

“Oh...okay.” Johnny excused himself out like a wet cat.

* * *

“Hey, Lucas, do you want to grab lunch with me? If you’re free. We can have dinner too if that’s possible with your schedule?”

“Really? That’s great, hyung. Kun ge gave me days off.....”

It was obvious why Lucas was enjoying a short break. Kun was kindness incarnate.

“Great. I’ll pick you up from your place.”

“Sounds great.”

“At twelve?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

_Eating out was the plan. Johnny was supposed to take Lucas out to a comfortable restaurant, might persuade to watch a movie, buy him a gift, and confess during the evening walk near the Han River. He couldn’t comprehend what transpired between the short span of waiting at the living room to being thrown on the bed the next. May be he did but his mind refused to function._

* * *

As soon as he entered the door to Lucas’ apartment, he found the other all dressed and dolled up. What kind of heartless man would deny such beauty the sweetest compliment? Especially when the other party put all these efforts for Johnny?

“You are so pretty, Xuxi,” Johnny blurted out while standing by the couch, dumbfounded.

Then it was rapid-fire.

“You think I’m pretty? That’s a first, hyung. From you, that is.”

“Yeah. I think—”

“You think about me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you think about me? Kissing me? Holding me?”

“I...”

“Don’t lie. I think I deserve that much.”

“Yes. I’m.. that’s shit of me. I—”

It had seemed to trigger the younger alpha. Johnny had a mild scare of his life. He thought he had offended the other somehow. Perhaps, read wrong between the lines. But, nope. Everything flew out his consciousness when Lucas pushed him down the couch, clambered on top of him, and kissed him senseless.

Lucas barely allowed him a breather, filled his lungs with his intoxicating scent, as well as Lucas’ tongue filling Johnny’s mouth. Johnny had kissed many, been kissed by many, but none came closer to how Lucas made him feel. He wondered in haze whether kisses supposed to feel this intense: fireworks, summer heat, and hot and everything felt unbearable.

Johnny gasped when Lucas pulled himself away. “Luc—” Johnny got cut off when Lucas grabbed his wrist and made a run for the bedroom.

 _Oh_!

Johnny turned a brighter shade of red. But, hadn’t Lucas given upon him and moved on?

“Lucas, wait—” Johnny gasped. He looked up to see a blurred vision of Lucas straddling him by the knees. Johnny blinked away the overwhelmed wetness clinging to his lashes. He saw his own breath, hot and heavy, raised from his heated lips. Johnny reached out to rub at his mouth. Lucas kissed like a starved wilder beast.

It sent shivers down his spine. God, did he want that? Of course.

Johnny’s other hand found itself pressed flat against Lucas’ chest as if that would stop the alpha. It did.

“What is it, Johnny?” Lucas had the lilt of a petulant pup whining for attention. The mattress sunk under Lucas’ weight further as he leaned backwards and waited for Johnny.

“I’m not taking advantage of you. I don’t plan this to be a one-time thing. I know it’s shit of me to ask, but it doesn’t mean a one-time thing, right?”

As soon as those words left Johnny’s mouth, he covered his eyes with the back of his palm. He knew it wasn’t his position to ask of such a thing, yet he did. Sure, it’d suck to lose Lucas as his potential mate, but it would suck thousand times worse if it turned a one-time thing and he realized it later.

He refused to know this alpha’s touches and then see him with others later.

“Hyung, Hyung, Hyung—” Lucas pried Johnny’s hand off his eyes, while the other cupped Johnny’s cheek. “I still am in love with you.”

Johnny squinted. Lucas avoided his gaze.

“Well, Taeyong hyung may have helped me a little.”

Now that was—

“Off!” Johnny groaned. He sounded defeated, helpless. He honestly had half the heart to just get ruined and think about things later.

“Okay. Not getting off. It took me five fucking years to get you beneath me, Johnny.” That was so alpha-like. _And panty dropping sexy._

“Okay. Okay. Okay.” Johnny laid limp on the bed, his gaze sharp.

“So, do you recall the Christmas party in my third year?”

“Yeah. What does it have to—”

“Oh, well, you kind of confessed and cried and kissed —it was on my cheek— and then passed out. Well, it was a faux heat drug for Taeyong but you took it by mistake.”

“Who else?” Johnny was perplexed. He swallowed the air. He had a bad omen.

“Huh?” Lucas tilted his head, lips jutted out.

“who else knows.”

“Well, The gang does.”

“Oh Go— fuck. Just make me forget.”

“Make you forget what?”

“This humiliation.”

“Sure, hyung.”

In a flash, Lucas was on him. With expertise, Lucas undressed Johnny. For a moment it was embarrassing to be splayed out bare with a leaking cock begging for physical attention beneath someone you know intimately, but every bit of prudence left Johnny the moment Lucas' growls rang in his ears to his bones. It was the kind of noise a predator makes when it savours its hard-earned prey; territorial and nerve-wracking.

Johnny never considered himself subservient. Those alpha tricks hardly worked on betas, yet his biology took a one eighty turn and trembled under that feral growl. It left him aching and shaking for the alpha above him.

Johnny wanted those sounds resounding within his flesh and bones, carved deep eternally.

“Hyung!” Lucas called for Johnny’s attention which the older obliged immediately.

“I have wanted you for so fucking long." Lucas' eyes were glowing with red ringlets around his iris. The kind of red that would lure you in and strike you down breathless, heart hammering, and skin prickling like the red fire licking all over.

It never helped that Lucas was quite romantic despite the want driving both of them crazy. Each of Lucas’ touches scorching. Those calloused fingertips glided across his skin, forcing out lewd sighs and groans out of Johnny. Lucas discovered the secrets of Johnny’s sensitive spots, played him like a goddamn harp, and Johnny writhed helplessly.

Lucas’ mouth was hot on his. This time around it tasted like mint and strawberries, the wet appendage invading Johnny’s mouth, licking at tender walls and roof. Lucas swallowed the tiny eager sighs falling off Johnny’s lips, got drunk with sweet moans Johnny offered like prayers, unparalleled in their devotion.

Lucas ducked down to kiss every inch of Johnny’s chest. Johnny keened beneath Lucas’ weight, grinded his hips against the other, the brush of their cocks left Johnny impatient for more. Johnny's back arched off the bed for more, his heels sunk in the mattress.

“Fuck— xuxi. Oh...fuck just—” It seemed Johnny lacked coherency, his arms coiled around Lucas’ neck. He couldn’t decide whether he wanted the other sucking on his chest, teasing his nipples, biting and licking at those blooming crescents, or shoving the alpha away.

It was also unhelpful that his nose was sharp. The scent of roasted coffee beans wasn’t overwhelming to the point where he would cry (read: beg so early), but for a normal beta’s senses, it was like a good trip over weed, and Johnny, obvious as day, was losing rationality.

Lucas’ scent filled his lungs, his heart, and his veins. It was like jumping into the trampoline hard and then thrown back to the air so above that the fall was nerve-wracking; a mess of butterflies swarming.

“Xuxi, fuck. Just. Get. In.” Johnny breathed out. His eyes were heavy and wet and partially open. Johnny looked the part of an absolute devotee praying earnestly for a miracle.

Johnny caught the glimpse of Lucas in his alpha glory: the picture of a sadist finding mirth in its prey’s helpless want. He saw Lucas’ swallowing a mouthful of desire. It was kind of hot, Johnny admitted.

“No, hyung.” Lucas’ guttural voice echoed in the room, followed a wicked smile.

Fuck! Why does he gotta be so hot? Johnny felt like resigning from humanity altogether.

Johnny shivered, a muffled whimper escaped. He didn’t know if he was into masochism, but he might need to think again.

“As much as I would love to fuck you, I need to prepare you well.” Lucas sounded like the devil Johnny was told to be cautious of.

There was melody dully ringing inside his head. It was alluring, and —Oh, God! Was that the alpha’s hypnosis? The sweet hymn of mating growls.

Not that Lucas needed to use such trick to persuade Johnny, nevertheless, it flooded Johnny with warmth, heat coiling at his pelvis. It might be a biologic response imbued in their genes as a natural response. Still, it made him happy. Betas were inferior to Omegas in terms of sense and sensitivity, yet somewhere there caught in nowhere. Even so, an alpha’s touch still had a mild inebriated effect on them.

The knowledge of Lucas courting him properly as he should to a mate drew out whines, the further need to be claimed by this alpha was stronger in every fibre of his being.

“Xuxi! Fuck me. Bite me. Claim me,” Johnny growled, his eyes flashing ringlets of white.

There were two of Lucas’ thick and long fingers —slicked with the lube Lucas had grabbed from beneath the pillow: a strawberry flavoured, no less—shoved deep inside Johnny’s velvet cavity, stretching him wide open.

The roughened fingertips prodded at his walls, an unbearable itch from inside. They forced out shudders, rendered Johnny weak and helpless. Kind of needy too. “I had enough. Hei, fuck me. I swear to fucking gods and demons —I want your cock in. Knot me. God, fuck, I’m no virgin, you idiot. Oh— damn.”

Though Johnny was no omega, Lucas was still an alpha and perhaps, the sensible one out of the two.

“Your ass will thank me for this later.” Lucas clucked, a warning glare to quiet the beta’s whines while adding another digit. It did nothing but stretch him a little wider, yet that chanced enough room for Lucas’ middle finger to prod further, an inch or two, and hit the bundle of nerves.

Johnny moaned, the unrelenting abuse of his prostrate drove Johnny to the edge, strung taut like a guitar’s chord. “Xu- Hei...... N-nnnn—”

Johnny’s spurted, strings of white splashed across Lucas’ stomach and the alpha indifferently used it as means to rub their stomachs against each other. It was dirty, gross, the sound obscene, yet Johnny got even more turned on. He wanted that rub between his ass.

“You like that, don’t you hyung, hmm?” Lucas dared to grin crookedly, pointed canine sunk lightly against the tip of the tongue. It was so attractive, Johnny’s inside felt swallowing the alpha as a whole.

Johnny wanted to make a mess of this proud alpha. Though how things were going, his desire would come next time or later.

“Hyung, you take my fingers so easily. Tell me, how many times do you fuck yourself with a dildo? Don’t lie.” Lucas nibbled at Johnny’s inner thigh right below the knee, a generous amount of wet noises joining the sound of the obscene squelch. “I smell the stench in your room whenever I came over.”

Johnny groaned. Was it even possible to die from embarrassment? His blunt nails left faint red lines along Lucas’ biceps as he grappled, earned himself pleasant grunts.

“Last Thursday.” Johnny avoided gazing at Lucas, pleasured shivers soaring one after another. “Fuck. Lucas—”

“I gotchu. Just—” Lucas’ brows knitted, his tongue swiping his lips slick wet. He poured more of the lube, inserted a fourth digit, and twisted and turned. It seemed Lucas might shove his fist down Johnny’s ass. It was an interesting thought, but Johnny wasn’t ready. “Almost there, Johnny. I’ll give you my knot.” An amused laugh escaped Lucas. “You’re such a damsel in distress for my knot, it’s kinda adorable.” He cooed, predatory simper bared at Johnny.

Johnny swallowed. He wanted anything to clog his ass full. Especially, Lucas' cock. The alpha had cornered him, submerged him in unfathomable lust. Johnny didn’t want to swim out. He wanted to lose himself. Dare thinks, his alpha.

“I’m prepared enough.” Johnny grunted, clucked, and clawed at Lucas’ nape. “I take thick dildos just for—” He stopped, another wave of humiliation rendered him squirming. “To fill the emptiness.”

“I want to tease you.” Lucas kissed his thigh and released a small breathy laughter.

“Fuck it. I’ll ride you if you keep doing this, Lucas.”

“Fine. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.”

“Not my first time taking a dick.”

“Thought we’d be classic.”

“Yes, I’m a vulgar beta bitch who wants your knot. Now sink in.”

“Yes, sir.” Lucas snorted. His eyes widened the next; one hand on Johnny’s hips while the other guiding his bulbous crown to Johnny’s gaping hole. “You like that?”

“Nn—” Johnny shuddered, the sensation of a real cock different than a silicone one. It was hot. The glide of the swollen mass of blood and flesh inside his walls felt different. It had been years since he last allowed anyone to fuck him in the ass.

Johnny never trusted many with his ass to be precise.

“You look like God has appeared right before you, hyung.” Lucas whispered cheekily, his eyes redder than before, indiscernible fangs dripping with the spit. It smelled a little acerbic as like most alphas when in ruts do.

Lucas wanted to carve his mark on Johnny’s neck, Johnny could tell. And he wanted it.

 _Mate_.

“Shut up.” Johnny shifted his attention to Lucas’ pelvis pressed flush to his. “Fuck. Did you take dick enhancer or something?”

“No, hyung. You’re getting your alpha's cock. It’s better than any rando’s.” Lucas preened, grabbing Johnny’s sides. “I’m going to fuck you all day and night. I deserve that.”

Johnny wasn’t sure what to feel. Except horny and needy and soft altogether. “I’m no weak bitch.”

As if that was Lucas’ destiny call, the alpha had a sudden change of force. He knew of alphas going absolute bat shit lunatic with omegas, but for a beta? That was unheard of. At least to Johnny.

Lucas’ eyes were bright, sort of hypnotic. _beautiful_. So was the feral snarls falling past Lucas’ lips. Unlike omegas who lost their will against an Alpha’s dominance, Johnny was sober as much as one can when there was a pulsating dick shoved deep in their cavity.

“Johnny. Johnny. Johnny. My pretty mate, do you know, I wanted to jump you the day I laid my eyes on you.” Lucas relentlessly drove into Johnny’s heat, his lips wet and hot against Johnny’s keening ones.

“S— stop, you idiot.” Johnny whimpered, guiding Lucas’ mouth to the crook of his neck. “I want to be yours.”

* * *

Perhaps, Johnny should not have said that. Lucas kept his promise. The alpha went on even after one round.

“I’m young and full of vitality.” It was Lucas' self-explanatory answer when he flipped Johnny to lie face down, ass up. The thought of his drool gathered on the pillow disgusted him. Also, put him on shame. He had cried like a weakling, begging Lucas to stop.

It was too much. His ass was filled with Lucas’ cum. The dropped out of his hole, travelling down his perineum, and tickled him. Each time Lucas rammed inside, it would feel like a foreign object going deeper inside. It was weird, but so damn satisfying as well.

Johnny came from the back alone, limbs quivering, and Lucas’s marking the side of his back. Territorial as ever.

After doing their fourth-round or was it fifth, he couldn’t remember, did Johnny finally got to sleep. But not without Lucas’ cock nuzzled between his ass cheeks. He woke up sometime later. Lucas refused to let Johnny wash up by himself, but Johnny wedged his way out. He washed up, scrubbed himself clean inside and out —he felt immediate embarrassment and swallowed the involuntary humiliating whimper down. He was clean and fresh, applying the after shower conditioner in his hair in front of the mirror did Johnny allowed his attention to the reality he still couldn’t grasp.

_Fuck. He has a mate._

He watched the healed crescents protruding on his neck bearing a faint shade of pink. He inspected the design, kind of foolish, but his mind still refused to accept the reality. He was uncertain, unrest in his person as he reached up to tap his index on the impressions. Once. Twice. Thrice. And by the nth time, the fact he was claimed grounded in his mind. _FUCK!_

“You can admire my craftsmanship later, Johnny. Can we get some breakfast first?” Lucas’ hoarse voice startled him. He turned to see the other with a toothbrush caught between his teeth, hair messy, and eyes droopy.

_It was cute._

“What a romantic.” Johnny draped a clean towel on his head and moved to the door.

He heard Lucas clean his mouth.

“You said, you’re nasty, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

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